All the pageantry of the real Academy Awards, without the red carpet, Chris Rock, Lady Gaga's moving ballad, girl scout cookies, painfully awkward Stacey Dash interviews or celebrity filled after parties.
Best Picture - DeSean Jackson in "Jackpot's Revenge"
Let me count the ways in which I love this picture. DeSean Jackson. In Philadelphia. Versus the team that unceremoniously released him. Mocking the crowd. After the Redskins won the division title. While wearing the NFC East Title. It pleases me.
Best Director - Scot McCloughan in "Master Chef"
Sorry Coach Gruden, but GMSM gets the best director. Not only did the new general manager come through with what looks like a stellar first draft with many rookies logging significant minutes and playing well, but he also has renewed faith in the Redskins' front office wheeling and dealings. I would have bet the farm that the Redskins' brass would have screwed up re-upping Kirk Cousins in some fashion. Now, I firmly believe that McCloughan will get this right.
Best Actor in a Leading Role - Kirk Cousins in "You Like That?!?"
The Redskins took a huge leap of faith when they benched the highly touted, highly favored, but highly inconsistent Robert Griffin III and supplanted him Kirk Cousins. The 4th year signal caller responded by putting the team on his back and delivering one of the best seasons by a Redskins quarterback ever.
Best Actor in a Supporting Role - Jordan Reed in "Safety Blanket"
Because Leonardo DiCaprio couldn't do great things without Tom Hardy.
Not only did Jordan Reed have a career year and vault himself into elite company as far as tight ends are concerned, but he was CLUTCH. How many times did Reed bail out his team on a third and long or make a tough catch in traffic to extend a drive? The answer to both questions is A LOT. Washington finished fifth in the NFL in third down conversions in 2015 and the third year tight end is a huge reason why. Quarterbacks that are as limited physically as Cousins don't have years like he just had without players like Jordan Reed.
Best Costume Design - Duke Ihenacho in "Dem Cleats Tho"
For the second season in a row, Duke Ihenacho's year ended before the schedule's quarter mark due to injury. But there isn't a guy in the NFL with a better cleat & tape game. Nick Kicks did a piece on the the safety's creative shoe wear. I look forward to not only seeing him fully recovered from his wrist injury this summer, but what other ways he can enhance up your standard tape job.
Best Live Action Short Film - Kirk Cousins, DeSean Jackson, Pierre Garcon & Sean McVey in "Baller Alert"
Best Makeup & Hairstyling - Redskins Cheerleaders in "I Can't Think of a Clever Name, but Cheerleaders"
Because why not? You didn't really care about Breeland's mohawk or Matt Jones' dreadlocks.
Best Original Song - Hail To The Redskins in "HTTR"
The winner, now and forever.